- This morning I drove all the way to work (about 40-some miles) without my purse.
- Yesterday I became irritated because the harmony to a song got stuck in my head. I was humming it all morning. It took me until noon to figure out it was "Happy Birthday".
- My employer has to manually fix my timecard because I forgot to "clock out" several times this week.
- I set up an appointment to go in and get my oil changed on Wednesday. I woke up early that morning and left the house early so that I could drop my car off and still get to work on time. I got in the car and drove straight to work. I didn't realize I had forgotten to go to the dealership until I was already up in my office. I had to call in and reschedule my appointment.
- It has taken me 4 days to do 5 loads of laundry because I keep forgetting about them.... and I am still not done.
I don't just have brain farts... Some days my mind completely poops it's pants. To prove this, let's review a few of the less-than-intillegent things I found myself doing this week... shall we?
My daughter is always getting on my case about my language. If you read my "Home" page, you'll know that she is the adult in this relationship. Anywhoo, she is constantly hounding me about cussing in front of her. Not that I mean to... I just have a very colorful vocabulary. I contribute it to many years of working in the construction industry. It is not unusual to hear the f-word used as verb, noun and adjective all in the same sentence when dealing with contractors. None the less, she is right, and I should try to clean it up around her and the other kiddos.
So, being me, I've been getting creative in my curses. Yesterday when I was exasperated with a particular situation, I exclaimed "Holy forks and spoons!" I don't know where that one came from, but I liked it. It was very comfortable. It's definitely a keeper.
I've also began to use the word "Poop" a lot. "Oh poop!", "That's poopy" and "I don't give a poop" have become some of my "go to" phrases around the house. However, when I'm among the land of adults, I get some weird looks when I am constantly talking about poop. Which I do. Talk about poop. A lot.
I've also become fond of calling people "Dirty Hippies". I got that one from my man. One day I heard him say "Ahhh, you dirty hippie" and it just stuck. He's also fond of saying "Son of a buck" and "Poopy-sticks". There we go with the poop again. It always comes back to the poop.
I have a gal friend that likes to say "Fart-Knocker, Mother-Jumper", but that's too hard for me to pronuciate when I'm flustered or angry. I end up accidently slipping a swear word in there and then it just me sounding like I have tourrettes or something.
I really feel like there should be a thesaurus specifically to find synonyms for swear words. Or an app. Yeah.... there's got to be an app for that.
In the mean time, I guess I'll just stick with poop.