I haven't blogged in a while. I just haven't had anything entertaining to yap about lately. I think it's the time of year... It's been too cold and gloomy out to do anything fun, so it has been week after week of "Get up. Go to work. Come home. Clean. Go to bed. Do it again the next day." There has been very little variation in my life lately and it blows...
This is seriously my most unfavorite time of the year. I am not a winter person. I don't like the cold. And once Christmas is over and done, it's really downhill for me. There are a few things in January that keep me busy, but after that I'm just a big ball of grump.
I don't usually diagnose myself with any sort of mental or physical condition, but I'm pretty positive I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. Like, no shit. It happens every year, same time, and the only cure is enough sunshine and warm enough temps for me to get out of the house.
I need to be able to walk the dogs, or go for a hike, or go out in the woods... without freezing my lady balls off. I want to ride a bike, or a four wheeler, or just ride in a damn car with the windows cracked. I'm like a dog that's been stuck in a pen for two long. I'm about to start digging my way out! Ugh!!
I did, however, find one activity that I enjoyed this winter. Of course I had to bundle myself up like the kid from A Christmas Story in order to stand being outside and enjoy it. I like to call it "Redneck Sledding". We strap a toboggan sled to the back of the four wheeler and my BF takes us around the neighborhood. It sounds harmless, but he doesn't hold back. Up and down curbs, in the ditch, dodging trees, cars and other people. It rocks. Unfortunately, it only snowed twice this winter, but both times we took advantage of it.
I'm pretty sure this was the only time you saw me smiling outside this winter... And, yes, that is a lawn chair behind me in the sled. I'm old and fragile and bruise easily (we found out the hard way).
Note to self: Before taking an Ambien, make sure there is no possible way that you are going to get up 5 minutes after you take it and try to have conversations and make dinner for your boyfriend who just came home from a long day of work.
I guess I should explain...
The man worked 14 hours yesterday. It was not expected. He had been letting me know periodically during the day what was going on, and with every text and/or call, it was very apparent that he was not going to be home until late that evening. It sucks, but it happens with his work. It fact, it happens a lot. So I guess when I say "It was not expected", what I mean to say is "It is always expected, but it was not what I was hoping for." Let's just be honest...
Anyway, I had woke up early Sunday morning, ran errands, did a bunch of housework, made a big dinner and had my best friend and her family over to celebrate my Daughter's 15th Birthday (Yeah, that's right... I am officially the parent of a 15 year old... but that's a whole other post). It had been a very long, very eventful day, and I was exhausted. Actually, my body was exhausted. My brain, however, was worried about my boyfriend and wondering when he would ever get home.
I stayed up until about 9:30, even though I was pretty much in a vegetative state since just past 8pm. I went and laid in bed, but couldn't sleep. I just tossed and turned and worried about my sweets... so, at about 10 o'clock I decided to take an Ambien. I went to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water, went into the bathroom, took the pill and was literally crawling under the covers when I heard the garage open.
Typically, I only have about a 15-20 minute window before the Ambien knocks me the eff out. So I thought, "Okay, I'll go out into the other room, conversate as much as I can, make him up some leftovers and say goodnight. I can totally do that in 20 minutes or less."
Yeahhh... ummm... no. I was totally kidding myself...
I vaguely remember giving him a hug and a kiss on the forehead as he sat at the kitchen counter and ate. My next memory? Waking up this morning.
So, you know your behavior was epic when you tell your loved one that you don't remember going to bed because you took a sleeping pill, and his response is "Well, that explains it..."
To see more sleeping pill confessions, check out this post:
I think life would be so much easier if everyone just carried around confetti in case there is a need for spontaneous celebration. "What? It's your Birthday? Well, Happy Birthday to you!!" (throws confetti up in the air)
"What? You got a promotion? Well, congratulations to you!!" (throws confetti up in the air)
"What? You're having a bad day? This will cheer you up!!" (throws confetti up in the air)
"It's our anniversary? I mean.. Of course it is!!" (throws confetti up in the air)
Dude... the possibilities are endless.
That's why I created this necklace... The Emergency Confetti in a Bottle Necklace
. Because you never know when you'll need to celebrate. Okay, normally you do know... but occasionally... once in a while... it sneaks up on you. Just go with me on this...
Now, if I could figure out how to have a fresh cupcake conveniently located in my purse at all times, I'm pretty sure I could rule the world....
For more quirkiness, check out my shop. www.creativityismessy.etsy.com
I don't just have brain farts... Some days my mind completely poops it's pants. To prove this, let's review a few of the less-than-intillegent things I found myself doing this week... shall we?
This morning I drove all the way to work (about 40-some miles) without my purse.
Yesterday I became irritated because the harmony to a song got stuck in my head. I was humming it all morning. It took me until noon to figure out it was "Happy Birthday".
My employer has to manually fix my timecard because I forgot to "clock out" several times this week.
I set up an appointment to go in and get my oil changed on Wednesday. I woke up early that morning and left the house early so that I could drop my car off and still get to work on time. I got in the car and drove straight to work. I didn't realize I had forgotten to go to the dealership until I was already up in my office. I had to call in and reschedule my appointment.
It has taken me 4 days to do 5 loads of laundry because I keep forgetting about them.... and I am still not done.
These are just a few of the things off the top of my head. Seriously folks... there is a reason this blog is called My Messy Head!
I'm not big on New Year's Resolutions. I usually set some hefty goal and fail within the first couple of weeks, so I try not to even think about it most years. However, I have but one simple "resolution" this year...
This year is going to be the YEAR OF HANDMADE!! (echoes: made... made... made...)
I, Messy in the Head, do solemnly swear to give the gift of handmade items for at least 80% of the gifts I give this year. Whether it be a birthday, anniversary, Christmas or National Taco Day, I plan on either making the gifts with my own two hands or purchasing the gifts from a fellow craftsman. This is my pledge.
Now... with 4 family birthdays and a special anniversary happening this month alone, I am already off to a rocky start. I have purchase 2 gifts from "commercial retail" establishments already. They creeped up on me and I panicked. However, I plan on making it up. I already have an idea for a gift to make for my sweets on our "anniversary", and I have been scanning Etsy and Pinterest all day saving/pinning items to consider for birthdays later this year.
Now, don't mistake me for one of those people who are against big box stores and mass produced items. Hello! My name is Messy and (this is hard to admit) I love stores like Target and World Market and Old Navy (actually it's not that hard to admit). However, I always try to encourage myself to give handmade and DIY items because to me they show that you want to give the gift of originality... the gift of something different. To me it says, "You are a one-of-a-kind person, and I wanted to give you a one-of-a-kind gift". I love the feeling I get when someone opens a gift from me and says "Oh my gawd... this is so awesome! Did you make it?" It's music to my ears.
And as long as I plan accordingly, I know I can make it to my goal of 80% handmade!
Who's with me?!?
For a great, super-easy DIY gift idea, check out my Instagram magnet tutorial here: http://mymessyhead.weebly.com/2/post/2013/10/easy-instagram-magnets-repost.html
For some awesome, one-of-a-kind gift ideas, check out my shop:https://www.etsy.com/shop/creativityismessy
Every once in a while, I come across something (or someone) so awesome that I feel the need to tell everyone I know about what I have found. Today is one of those days!! (You're welcome!)
Christmas is just around the corner! Do you still need to send out Christmas cards? Do you want to find a way to spice up the packaging for your otherwise boring gift cards? Do you want to be the talk of the neighborhood with amazingly packaged sweet treats for the whole block? If any of these apply to you, you NEED to check out Claudine Hellmuth on Etsy. https://www.etsy.com/shop/claudinehellmuth
Claudine isn't new to Etsy by any means, but apparently I've been living under a rock or something and just recently found her unique little shop. I'm totally in love with her adorable illustrations. And the most awesome part of her shop? Everything is an instant download. So you just purchase, print and... BAM! Gift done! Crack a beer! (Okay, sometimes there is assembly required... but you know what I mean...)
Although I already purchased goodie "treat bags" for the neighbors and our Christmas cards are already sent, I am seriously considering purchasing some of her adorable gift card holders. How cute would these be filled with iTunes cards for all the hard-to-shop-for teenagers in my life?!?
Warning people! I often lack tact! I am constantly sarcastic! I'm offensive, vulgar and brutally honest at times! I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy! I over-share! I say whatever is on my mind without thinking about it until after it has escaped my lips!
I often feel like these little tidbits about me should be tattooed on my forehead so that people know what to expect before I even begin to speak. People that know me well, know that I have no mental filter and expect nothing less from me. However, I have to say, I am getting a little tired of constantly getting this look when speaking...
If you are anything like me, the idea of going out in the cold at the butt-crack of dawn, while standing in endless lines and playing "bumper carts" with a store full of hostile, inconsiderate shoppers sounds less than appealing. It doesn't matter if it is Black Friday or just a random Tuesday during the holiday season... I hate shopping during this time of year.
Therefor, I am starting a movement. While we already have "Cyber Monday", I'd like to see us take it to the next level. That's right! I'm starting the "Be Like Messy" holiday challenge!! I challenge all of you to spend just one day
this holiday season shopping on-line while relaxing around the house in your underwear, drinking your coffee... or whiskey... or whiskey and coffee, all while in the safe, warm, quiet environment of your own home.
If you would like to start your challenge this weekend, I have just the place for you! Etsy sellers has some killer deals every year that start on Black Friday and run through Cyber Monday. My shop included. Not only can you take the challenge and shop in your skivvies this weekend, but you can find some awesome, unique, hand-made gifts for your loved ones there too! Win-win!!
Go to www.etsy.com
to search for awesome deals on unique items
If you are interested in checking out my shop, go to www.creativityismessy.etsy.com
Everything in the shop is 15% off now until end of the day Monday, December 2nd.
Take the challenge today!
I have, and have had troubles sleeping most of my adult life. I am lucky if I get 5 hours of rest on my own, and rarely do I manage to sleep for a solid period of time. I’m usually up several times during the night tossing and turning while my brain decides to focus on everything but sleep… what has happened… what will happen… what is happening right now... what is happening here... I wonder what is happening over there... You know what’s not happening right now brain?!? SLEEP!! THAT’S WHAT IS NOT HAPPENING!!!
So, anywhoo… I finally got to an age where I just couldn’t run on 3-4 hours of rest and a pot of coffee alone. At first I tried to find other means of getting a good night’s rest. I tried a hot bath. I tried warm tea. I tried yoga and meditation. I tried more herbs than a pot-head at a Phish concert. I seriously tried everything before I jumped on the sleeping pill express. But eventually, I went to my doctor. It was my last resort.
Fast-forward to a little over a week ago…
After several attempts at other sleeping pills proved unsuccessful, and my insurance denied the drug that my doctor thought would be perfect for me; she finally broke down and prescribed me Ambien. She was reluctant. I was terrified. I’ve heard the horror stories. Hell, even my pharmacist felt the need to tell me a story of late-night, sandwich-making, sleep-walking that one of her customers experienced after taking the drug. I already know I talk in my sleep… why not add walking around half-naked, destroying parts of my home, whilst making a ham and swiss on top of it?!?
Once I got the prescription, I didn’t know what to do. Maybe I should just try it out and see what happens... Maybe I’ll get lucky and my sleep-walking self will clean the entire house so I don’t have to worry about it this weekend. Maybe I should wait until the man was home so he can keep an eye on me… Of course, knowing me, I’d dream I was the Karate Kid and crane-kick his Cobra Kai ass out of the bed. Maybe I should just wait until a night that I actually NEED a good night sleep and just roll the dice… Oye…
So after a few days, I decided to just go for it. My boyfriend was away for the week hunting with his dad, so I devised a plan. I took the pill, and then rolled myself up in my blankets. I literally started at one end of our California King, grabbed the edge of the covers and rolled all the way to the other side. I figured if I started to sleep-walk, it would surely be too difficult to escape my blanket-burrito-like restraints and eventually my unconscious self would just give up the fight with the comforter and succumb to just laying there like a wrapped up fish.
And it worked!
After about 8 hours of the most restful sleep I have had in a LONG time, I unrolled myself, jumped out of bed, and ran around the house inspecting for any damage, any evidence of a cooking spree, or any unexpected, yet delightfully welcomed, cleaning that I may have done during the night. But there was nothing. Everything was just the way I left it. I was in the clear. Awesomesauce….
I'm seriously considering that they next time I take it, I will really try to focus on a spotless house before I fall asleep in hopes that if I do manage to free myself from my blanket prison, I might put my unconscious body to good work and at least do the dishes or something. Or maybe bake some brownies. Mmmmm... sleep-walk brownies....
I've been seeing a lot of posts on Facebook lately about having something to be thankful about every day. You know... "Day 11: I'm Thankful for my sweet children that keep me humble and make me feel loved every single day." My feed is completely bombarded with warm, fuzzy feelings of thankfulness. It's a little nauseating.
Now don't get me wrong... I am very blessed. And I thank God every day for what he has given to me. The good... the bad... and everything in between. Because everything happens for a reason. Either it is a blessing or a lesson. And I am extremely thankful for every blessing and every lesson he has bestowed upon me.
However, if I were to choose something different and specific to be thankful for every single day for the entire month of November, I'd either have to A) fudge the truth a little so that my "thoughts of thankfulness" were all warm and pleasant, or B) be honest and have a list that went something like this.... (in no particular order)....
- Day 1: I am most thankful for my daughter. She makes me proud and gives me gray hairs every single day.
- Day 2: I am thankful for hair dye.
- Day 3: I am thankful for my parents and for the fact that they didn't drown me when I was a teenager.
- Day 4: I am thankful for my siblings. Growing up they showed me love. They taught me humility. And most importantly, they taught me not to do what they did, or at least not to get caught doing it.
- Day 5: I am thankful for my amazing boyfriend. He makes me proud. He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. He always makes me feel loved... and he best keep that shit up if he knows what's good for him!
- Day 6: I am thankful that my boyfriend had three wonderful, beautiful children... and then a vasectomy.
- Day 7: I am thankful for vasectomies.
- Day 8: I am thankful for sarcasm. Without it, I would have to say what I really thought and everyone would think I was a complete asshole.
- Day 9: I am thankful for beer.
- Day 10: I am thankful for coffee. It's like a warm, beautiful hug in the morning. It makes waking up bearable. It's the perfect drink to get you through your day... or at least until it is socially acceptable to start drinking beer.
- Day 11: I am thankful for those that served or are currently serving in our military. It's Veterans Day... If you thought I was going to say something sarcastic, I'm sorry to disappoint.
- Day 12: I am thankful for my friends. Most of them as stuck by me through many, many crapstorms. I don't know if they just truly love me, or if they were waiting to see what the hell would or could happen next. Either way, I'm extremely appreciative they came along for the ride.
- Day 13: I am thankful for Salsa. I put that shit on everything!
- Day 14: I am thankful for music. But only good music. I AM NOT thankful for that garbage Justin Beiber spews out of his pretentious little pie-hole.
- Day 15: I am thankful for men with beards and tattoos. Making my knees weak since 1996.
- Day 16: I am thankful for whomever invented "Movember" or "No-Shave November" or whatever you want to call it. Convince men not to shave their facial hair in order to promote men's health... Genius!
- Day 17: I am thankful for beer.
- Day 18: I am thankful for my dogs. And dogs in general. I swear, those goofy bastards keep me from having to be severely medicated.
- Day 19: I am thankful that I am allergic to cats. It gives me an excuse not to have one of those temperamental little fucktards.
- Day 20: I am thankful for warm, fresh baked bread. Not that I make my own bread. Ever. But when I get bread, like at a store or restaurant, and it's still all warm all over, and soft on the inside... yeah.... that's the bomb.
- Day 21: I am thankful for my sense of humor and those that understand it. Life is short people! Laugh! Even at the stupid shit!
- Day 22: I am thankful for toilet paper. And we all should be. 2-ply for life baby! Boo-ya!!
- Day 23: I am thankful for flannel. Flannel shirts, flannel pants, flannel sheets... I live in that shit when it's cold outside...
- Day 24: I am thankful for social media and the internet. Now I will never have to go to a class reunion to reunite with people I chose not to keep in touch with in the first place.
- Day 25: I am thankful for more beer.
- Day 26: I am thankful for... I can't believe I am about to say this... MY JOB. Sure, there are days that I fall asleep at my desk because it is so boring and mundane... and there are days I feel like throwing my stapler at certain people's heads... but it could always be worse. It could be better... but it could also be worse.
- Day 27: I am thankful for spell check. I'd sound like a complete idiot without it.
- Day 28: I am thankful for turkey and mash potatoes and stuffing and rolls and pumpkin pie... but not that cranberry shit. That shit is awful!
- Day 29: I am thankful for antacid.
- Day 30: I am thankful that this month is finally over and I can go back to just being generally thankful for everything.