I have, and have had troubles sleeping most of my adult life.  I am lucky if I get 5 hours of rest on my own, and rarely do I manage to sleep for a solid period of time.  I’m usually up several times during the night tossing and turning while my brain decides to focus on everything but sleep… what has happened… what will happen… what is happening right now... what is happening here... I wonder what is happening over there...  You know what’s not happening right now brain?!?  SLEEP!!  THAT’S WHAT IS NOT HAPPENING!!! 

So, anywhoo… I finally got to an age where I just couldn’t run on 3-4 hours of rest and a pot of coffee alone.  At first I tried to find other means of getting a good night’s rest.  I tried a hot bath.  I tried warm tea.  I tried yoga and meditation.  I tried more herbs than a pot-head at a Phish concert.  I seriously tried everything before I jumped on the sleeping pill express.  But eventually, I went to my doctor.  It was my last resort.

Fast-forward to a little over a week ago…

After several attempts at other sleeping pills proved unsuccessful, and my insurance denied the drug that my doctor thought would be perfect for me; she finally broke down and prescribed me Ambien.  She was reluctant.  I was terrified.  I’ve heard the horror stories.  Hell, even my pharmacist felt the need to tell me a story of late-night, sandwich-making, sleep-walking that one of her customers experienced after taking the drug.  I already know I talk in my sleep… why not add walking around half-naked, destroying parts of my home, whilst making a ham and swiss on top of it?!? 

Once I got the prescription, I didn’t know what to do.  Maybe I should just try it out and see what happens...  Maybe I’ll get lucky and my sleep-walking self will clean the entire house so I don’t have to worry about it this weekend.  Maybe I should wait until the man was home so he can keep an eye on me…  Of course, knowing me, I’d dream I was the Karate Kid and crane-kick his Cobra Kai ass out of the bed.  Maybe I should just wait until a night that I actually NEED a good night sleep and just roll the dice… Oye…

So after a few days, I decided to just go for it.  My boyfriend was away for the week hunting with his dad, so I devised a plan.  I took the pill, and then rolled myself up in my blankets.  I literally started at one end of our California King, grabbed the edge of the covers and rolled all the way to the other side.  I figured if I started to sleep-walk, it would surely be too difficult to escape my blanket-burrito-like restraints and eventually my unconscious self would just give up the fight with the comforter and succumb to just laying there like a wrapped up fish.

And it worked! 

After about 8 hours of the most restful sleep I have had in a LONG time, I unrolled myself, jumped out of bed, and ran around the house inspecting for any damage, any evidence of a cooking spree, or any unexpected, yet delightfully welcomed, cleaning that I may have done during the night.  But there was nothing.  Everything was just the way I left it.  I was in the clear.  Awesomesauce….

I'm seriously considering that they next time I take it, I will really try to focus on a spotless house before I fall asleep in hopes that if I do manage to free myself from my blanket prison, I might put my unconscious body to good work and at least do the dishes or something.  Or maybe bake some brownies.  Mmmmm... sleep-walk brownies....
 


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